Chin up Buttercup, Baby.

the world seems to be moving faster...

2010-12-18T21:28:00.002-05:00

than it did when I was a kid. I remember the Christmas season lasted forever. The cookies we baked, the decorating. We're just so much busier and so caught up in everything else that we don't do the things I so cherished as a kid. I want to have family game nights, and go on family outings and have traditions. I miss those things about my childhood.

plans for 2011:
- go back to weight watchers
- see the eye doctor
- see the dermatologist
- go on a family vacation
- begin a family game night
- get better about birthday cards/gifts

2010-11-20T12:09:00.002-05:00

Wow. So I haven't written in ages. I have an OD, and I've had it for over 10 years. But I just can't bring myself to write in it anymore. Things happened, I was an insensitive (strange to think of me that way, I know - but stress will do that to you!) jerk. And OD just doesn't FEEL right anymore. So now I'm here blogging. When I have the time. Time is definitely not something I have a lot of.
Kenny and I had a beautiful wedding last month. Adjusting to married life has taken no time at all, considering we were like a married couple before. The hardest part is signing T******n on everything.
I've recently begun selling Scentsy. I'm excited about that for sure! And there are lots of changes in the bank going on that should be good too. But we will see soon enough.

2009-09-13T21:27:00.003-04:00

Lord, I feel like a loser for not updating more. Life has been crazy. I always knew having a second kid would make things more hectic, but PKU complicates things so much more!

Then ofcourse, we had to sign Isaiah up for soccer. I think we are gluttons for punishment.

There's tons more, I promise I will get back soon with a real update.

2009-06-17T20:20:00.000-04:00

Kenny and I have decided on a new date... but I'm not planning on sharing it (except to very few, and they know who they are) until I'm sure we aren't going to have to change it again. But we are looking at a date in April.

Sammy went to the pediatrician for shots today... He's pretty behind on shots. Today we got his 6 month shots.
He's 22.5 lbs. 30 inches long and has a 48 cm head circumference. He's growing right on the same curve since birth and is developing nicely.
The doctor was one that I don't particularly like. In the past he has been condescending towards me. The last two times I've seen him, he was rather nice. I think he realizes that I'm not some young parent without a clue. I'm actively handling both of my children's special needs. AND I know more about PKU than he ever will. He's going to try to see what he can do to help us with the insurance situation.

The work situation turned out ok... barely. I still have my job, but I'm kind of on the radar now. joy.

Our metabolic dietician is leaving Emory. =/ She was accepted into a nuclear medicine program in California. I've spoken to her (and no other dietician, save for the head dietician over her) once a week for the past year. She's sort of been my backbone through the first year. I'm not sure how I am going to handle this.

a date is set

2009-06-02T19:21:00.002-04:00

Apparently a date is set.

September 26, 2009
at Mercy Stables, Ringgold, Ga.

feelings, wooah,wooah, feelings...

2009-05-28T22:15:00.002-04:00

>
Sammy had surgery bright and early this morning to have tubes put in his ears. He was a little trooper and did great.

I know I wrote about recert last time (in a friends only diary entry @ OpenDiary). WIC is giving me just 6 more months of coverage, so we have at least that long to work some things out as far as the majority of the formula goes.

I talked to his dietician and she told me that they have patients that cannot afford the formula, so they just don't get it.

So those of us who cannot afford and get no assistance should just sit back and let our children develop brain damage? HELL NO! Not on my watch. One of the mom's heading up our GA PKU group asked me to be an advocate. I told her to sign me up, I 'll stand on a soapbox all day if that's what it takes to get this stuff paid for!

I don't think we are going to have a wedding. I hate that I am saying this and kenny has no idea yet, that i am saying this; I hate that it will be this way, but we just cannot afford to put a wedding together. I'm sure we'll just randomly go to the JOP.

Kenny's youngest sister graduates in a little over a week and we won't be able to make it. We're hoping to send some money so their mom can put a little party together. - At least have a few of the most important people to Becky to be there.

I guess that's all.

Just waiting to be able to be happy again

never any time

2009-05-20T20:36:00.002-04:00

I am the world's greatest at planning things out or beginning projects and not following through...
Just ask my wedding planning notebook, the pile of half worked yarn and knitting needles under my bed, the unfinished scrapbooks, photos and supplies in my closet...I really could keep going.

Just an observation about myself.

Sammy's first birthday is just a little less than a month and a half away! He starts Phenex-2 this week and gets his tubes put in his ears next Wednesday.

Isaiah lost his first tooth on Saturday and is fixin to lose another. His adult teeth came in behind the baby teeth a month or so ago. The dentist walked me through the plan. We let the crowded adult teeth move in before we "make room" (ie pull a few teeth) Then we have to widen his palate around age 9. We will most likely need to give him braces as well. His dentist really is awesome though.

Kenny and I have been gradually working on home improvements in just a month we've:
gotten and installed screen doors.
planted a garden and cleaned out 90% of the gutters.
painted the kitchen.

we're hoping to have a lot more done in the coming weekends.
we have a little table that needs to be sanded and stained or painted.
the screen doors need to be painted white
the living room will be painted this weekend.
the deck needs to be pressure washed and stained (we have the stain, we just need the funds to rent a pressure washer).

I REALLY need to find the time and deal with the mommy guilt and get a gym membership. I don't want my health to become and even bigger issue than it already is.

I need to go plan out Sammy's meals, make his formula and get things ready for granny tomorrow. Glad I could find a few minutes to write.

Yeah.

2009-05-19T18:44:00.001-04:00

So I totally haven't written in here in ages. I've not even kept up with the Opendiary that I've written at for 10 years.

bleh.

moved from OD: 10.13.08: Let's set some goals!

2008-10-19T21:22:00.001-04:00

See the previous entry for non-weight loss talk .

After some decision making and talking with Kenny. I've set the following goals.

WW Mandatory goal: 10%

25 lbs / 25 lbs / 234.4 lbs

WW reward: 10% Keychain

Hair cut & color by Van.

time frame: by Christmas 2008

Under 200 lbs.

35.4 lbs / 60.4 lbs / 199 lbs

Cut up Lane Bryant Card & buy an outfit from Old Navy.

time frame: by June 2009

Ultimate Goal

to be adjusted - as WW considers my highest allowable weight to be 141.

44 lbs / 104.4 lbs / 155 lbs

New wardrobe - reconstructive surgery possibly

WEDDING - yes that's right: we will have an October '09 wedding if I make it to goal by then.

time frame: October 2009 - 1 year.

moved from OD: 10.13.08

2008-10-19T21:21:00.001-04:00

The day after we took Samuel to the pediatrician Isaiah started a fever and his "neck really hurts" - so I took him to the after hours clinic. They did a strep test that came back negative. His throat still hurt bad two days later so I took him to the pediatrician. Strep throat. Yeah. He's better now, as is Samuel (minus the rattling in his chest and the croupy sounding cough - though the cough is muuuuch less frequent).

I applied for an accounts payable job on Craigslist last night. $16.50/hr. I just worry that I don't have what it takes to get a better job. I'm not very confident and even though I have that Associates Degree I learned nothing in those accounting courses. They crammed so much info into 10 weeks that it never could sink in.

Tonight is Weight Watchers - we'll see how that goes. I anticipate that it won't go too well.

I'm excited that Kenny's mom and sister(s?) and our new little nephew MIGHT be coming down around Christmas! I have to work (as always) but Kenny and the boys really need the time with Pam (I really wish I didn't have to work, though - I enjoy having them around too, you know!)

**weighed in tonight!**

lost 1.8 lbs for a total of 6.2 lbs in two weeks!

moved from OD: 10.06.08: ww & rsv

2008-10-19T21:20:00.002-04:00

Yay! I lost 4.4 lbs for my first week!

Boo! Samuel has an ear infection and needs breathing treatments every 4 hours. They tested for RSV but didn't say anything else. He juuuust finished an antibiotic that was prescribed previously for sinus issues. He's miserable.

moved from OD: 09.28.08: WW

2008-10-19T21:20:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow after work I am attending a Weight Watchers meeting. My first in about 2 years - my third go around with meetings. The first time in 2004 - I went for 16 weeks and lost 34 lbs. I started at 256. The second time in 2006 I went for 5 weeks and lost 15 lbs. - I started at 256. This time I hope to stick with it longer - and am starting, according to my scale, at 256. Each time I gave up because of money and time constraints. Money is still tight but I believe I am worth $13 and 45 minutes per week. I give my all to my job 40 hours a week, and to my family the remaining time. I don't ever give myself time.

I tried a few weeks ago to begin doing WW at home - I just give in too easily - because I don't have the accountability of the meetings. Hopefully with the accountability back I will do good.

moved from OD: 09.25.08: Ok, ok, Davney!

2008-10-19T21:18:00.000-04:00

Davney has gotten on to me to update. I guess I have been MIA for a while now.

Things are just too much some days. The world really needs to stop so I can get off. I've been having crazy mood swings. High highs and super low lows. Beginning to wonder if my mom's manic is hereditary.

My body hasn't become used to the IUD yet either. So I'm bleeding (at least spotting) everyday. Though I still hope that Sarah Palin doesn't take BC away from us because really I don't need anymore kids anytime soon.

Kenny and I are in one of our aggitated periods. Every now and again we both get aggitated at one another and don't get along as spledidly as usual. It always passes - but it doesn't help when he is my go to guy.

Samuel is on Amoxicillin for a sinus infection. And DROOLING buckets. BUCKETS! Like Isaiah did around 6 months. The doctor said he very well could be teething ::sighs:: he is SUPPOSED to be my little baby. Not my big growing up baby.

Isaiah is doing great. He went to the dentist on Wednesday and Dr. Gill said he has NO cavities. Yay! He also told me that Isaiah is getting more brave with each visit. That's a definite plus.

I was $30 short yesterday and had to write it up today. Gah! I balanced for months without having issues. =/

I had a little mini breakdown at work today - not so pretty. Thank God for my co-workers.

Tonight the boys and I are home alone. Kenny started back to school for his Bachelors. Thursday nights for the next 18 months. And lots needs to be done. Both boys bathed, Isaiah's homework, Samuel fed (already fed saiah) and cupcakes made for babyshower tomorrow. boyohboy.

moved from OD: 09.09.08: Emory Visit

2008-10-19T21:17:00.000-04:00

t 8:30 am Kenny and I found ourselves at the pediatrians office for Samuel's vaccinations. Oy. We took him to the exam room, got him undressed then carried him down the hall to the scales... He weighs 12 lbs 6.6 oz. We carried him back to the exam room where they measured him (23 inches)...then took his temperature (twice! - and we all know that was unpleasant as the only place the pediatrician will take a baby's temp is in the rear) then geared up for some vaccines. Three shots - 2 in one leg, 1 in the other - oh, and one orally for the rotavirus. He was fine after the initial screams...so we headed out on the road to Emory.

We stopped to eat lunch at a Steak and Shake (I had a gift card from one of my best customers, so we ate for free) then headed on up to Emory where we met Samuel's girlfriend Lily, who just happened to have an appointment the same day! Lily was diagnosed about a week and a half after Samuel was. The appointment went well except Samuel was suuuuper cranky from the shots...

First they took his photo. They'll do this at every appointment to track his appearance. They did a blood draw (which of course made matters worse) then Nyssa the nutritionist came in and met with us. We learned what life will be like when Samuel is four months and can begin to eat solids. (jarred baby foods and cereal). Dr. Blackston (the geneticist) came in and talked to us about our concerns. He said the Simian creases are not true simian creases and that at least 8% of the population have them with no other issues. He also said that while he has a high palate it really is nothing to be concerned about right now. He told us that he will continue to watch them just in case but he wouldn't be too worried. Then he asked us developmental questions about Samuel and he passed with flying colors. I really like him... he got on to Kenny for not marrying me already. He told him to buy me a ring this weekend (I wish we had the money!) and by next visit (in November) he wanted to see us married. Hehe. As he was leaving he said the marriage counseling session is over as Dr. Singh came in. She is the Metabolic nutritionist that heads off the Emory clinic. She talked to us about her concerns (Samuel is growing in girth moreso than height) and that we will need to make some formula adjustments and look at his guide very closely. She makes me a bit nervous. All in all it was a good visit. And I left feeling a bit relieved.

I'm exhausted and heading to bed.

2008-09-06T23:06:00.001-04:00

I'm getting back on the WW horse. I don't have the money to attend meetings but I need to get myself started. I know outwardly telling people about it, I HAVE to stick to it... because there will always be the "how is WW going?" questions... I got this App for my myspace called Lose for Good Campaign... so that will give some accountability.

Our lives are busy and hectic with having two kids and working full time (plus kenny starts back to school for his Bachelor's in a few weeks!) and when Samuel starts eating food it will get even more stressful...

But I need to commit to this for me....and for them. The eating part won't be a problem...I've done WW before and can count points with my eyes closed. It's the getting in time to exercise that's a problem. But I'll just start with the changes in eating first.

Schedule

2008-08-26T06:53:00.003-04:00

I haven't written here in a while -i'm mostly writing at opendiary...
But i needed to post this here.

8/24-25
P.M. 8:45-9:15..3.5 oz
A.M. 12:30......1.5 oz (2 oz spilled, didn't take more)
.....5:20.......3.5 oz.
.....9:45-10....3.5 oz.
P.M. 1-1:30.....3.5 oz.
.....3:45-4.....3.5 oz.
.....5:45-6:15..3.5 oz.
.....7:45.......3.0 oz.

8/25-26
P.M. 9:45.......3.5 oz.
A.M. 1:30.......3.5 oz.
.....5:30-6:15..2.5 oz.

trying to discern a pattern. This is it so far.

acceptance.

2008-07-08T08:03:00.002-04:00

I'm grateful that Kenny and I had the appointment at Emory with Dr. Singh, Nissa (the nutritionist) and Erin (the genetic counselor). I've spent the last several days crying constantly (granted the crying jags aren't over but I am beginning to see that the glass is full halfway - as Dr. Singh says it) and they've just helped me accept the situation.

First we met with Erin, who we met at the hospital last week when we took Samuel for his follow up blood draw. She talked to us about why Samuel has pku - Kenny and I are both carriers for the gene and Samuel happened to get the recessive gene from both of us. When both parents are carriers there is a one in four chance that their child will have it. No one knows they are a carrier unless, like us, they have a child with pku - or they go through thousands of dollars worth of genetic testing. Isaiah has a 1 in three chance of being a carrier. Samuel will only have a pku child if he has a baby with another pku carrier.

Then we met with Dr. Singh. She spoke with us about her past with pku. She has been working with pku patients for 15 years. She and her staff are the leading researchers of pku in the country. People from all over the country come to train under her staff. She is currently doing a drug study on a drug that can help pku-ers eat more protein. She is very protective of her patients and has even called child protective services on parents that deliberately didn't follow instructions on diet for their child or reporting labs. -She considers it child abuse because the parents KNOWS the outcome (brain damage) if their child doesn't follow the strict diet.

Then we met with Nyssa. She is the pku dietician. She taught us how to measure his formulas so he gets just the right amount of protein and the right amount of periflex (pku formula). She taught us how to do his weekly blood draws and gave us all the stuff to get started.

They were all so nice and so supportive. We have cell, home and pager numbers for all of them in case we have any questions ANY TIME.

It's still scary not knowing if Samuel will be ok in the end (no one can predict that)...but I know that Kenny and I are a great team and will do everything in our power to make it possible.

We have a lot of work ahead of us.

July 3, 2008: Another trip to another hospital.

2008-07-04T14:51:00.001-04:00

This afternoon the pediatrician called me and told me that a genetic counselor was about to call me - Samuel failed his PKU test. We were told we needed to get to Atlanta immediately. I called Kenny, he left work and we were on the road by 3:45 - We got there at 6:30... he was tested at 7:00 - we spoke to the genetic counselor and then left. We got home at 10:30.

I don't want to really get into it all but I'll tell you this...

1. his numbers were 5 times the high normal - they retested him at the hospital to be sure that it is really PKU. We'll find out tomorrow afternoon but she said that with the numbers he had its highly unlikely that its not PKU. We'll go back Monday if it is PKU to learn how to prepare the formula and track his numbers.

2. I can't breastfeed anymore. He will have to be on special formula. $500 worth a month. (She said WIC would cover it).

Here's the website they gave me for information.

http://www.newbornscreening.info/Parents/aminoaciddisorders/PKU.html

It's been one hell of a first week.

I wish my mom was here.

July 3, 2008: exhausted, discouraged, worried.

2008-07-04T14:50:00.000-04:00

Took Samuel to the pediatrician on Tuesday.. His bilirubin went up from 12.1 the day he left the hospital to 15.something or other. Meaning his jaundice was getting worse (normal is 6, i think she said).

Took him back yesterday (they told me they wanted to see him everyday until further notice) and it went down to 13. something. She said that it was ok to not bring him back until next week for his 2 week visit. We just have to keep feeding (so he can poop it out) and keep him in sunlight. She said alot of the elevated numbers is probably just from the bruising he has all over him from all the various IV placements. (top of each hand, underside of each wrist, feet, top of head). She said the body has to break that down and it could heighten the jaundice.

He's doing really good.

Me? I had a little bit of a breakdown last night. I'm exhausted. (it's good though, I'm not really complaining about that! It's just that exhaustion tends to heighten other emotions). I'm discouraged - We're having difficulty in the breastfeeding department.

* i don't feel "let down" like they say i will. (but he's still getting some milk, because I leak on him when I go to feed him sometimes.
* my breasts aren't hard like they say they will be when milk comes in.
* Samuel is having a bit of trouble latching every now and again. and he doesn't get much more than nipple in his mouth because well, lets face it, my nipples are kinda on the large side.
* He's still taking the supplemental bottle with every feeding. Anywhere from 30-50 mL per feeding.

And I'm worried about making ends meet while I am on maternity leave. I've also thought about going back to work part time only when my maternity leave is up... but I don't forsee that happening- we rely too much on my pay right now. It just seems like it would "fix" alot of the problems we are facing right now. - who is going to pick Isaiah up from school when school starts back, the cost of the sitter... i could go on but you get the idea.

June 30, 2008 : Samuel is home!

2008-07-04T14:49:00.000-04:00

Samuel is where he needs to be. Right here at home with us!

Before we left the hospital they had me breastfeed him and then supplement with the bottle (because he's been getting formula at the hospital since my milk hasn't come in yet.) So we are breastfeeding (he does pretty well, but falls asleep rather quickly) and when he's done about 15 minutes on each side we go ahead and give him a bottle. He didn't finish his bottle after he breastfed at the hospital. To me that's an accomplishment! Hopefully, now my body will realize there is a baby eating rather than a pump and my milk will show up.

** Just a little while ago he fell asleep at the breast and i couldn't get him to wake up, so I let him nap some more. He woke ready to eat. Ate 15 minutes at eat breast and then didn't want the bottle!!!! Is it silly that that makes me feel like I'm on cloud 9?

2008-06-29T15:53:00.004-04:00

e went to the hospital this morning for a feeding and Samuel is doing great! He lost the water weight they were hoping for and is eating more. While we were there they even moved him to a regular bassinet. If all goes well through the night we will get to take him home tomorrow!!

She worried me a bit because she told us he has something called a simian crease on both of his hands. She told us that it is indicative of down syndrome or any one of numerous syndromes or defects. She told us that she didn't see any other signs of downs. But I've now been searching the internet for more information and can't find any. Does anyone know anything about simian creases? The doctor told me that I had one on my left hand but after researching the photos I believe she was either totally mistaken or just wanted us to feel better.

Home alone

2008-06-29T15:53:00.003-04:00

Kenny just dropped me off at home - he's on his way to get Isaiah from Kenny's dad's house. I was discharged at 11 am this morning but they let us wait around until Samuel's 2 p.m. feeding and vitals. My nurse wanted me to stay in at the hospital until Sam is released, but I was going out of my mind in there.

Breastfeeding is not going so well. The first day he only got an IV.. yesterday evening they finally brought me a pump. I pumped every hour and still haven't even gotten more than a drop or two of colostrum. They've begun giving him formula in the meantime through a tube that runs to his stomach. They have him suck a pacie while they're running the tube so that he doesn't think that you just magically fill up- there is work involved. They just told me to go home and keep pumping...that hopefully I will stimulate milk flow.

1:20 p.m. was the start of day three. I'm beginning to get really discouraged about breastfeeding. I was so excited about it and then this happened. He has just been struggling too much to breathe that he didn't have the ability to suckle. Believe me, we tried!

We'll go back tomorrow to visit.

They've been able to completely pull him off of CPAP. Now they are just trying to get him to urinate more and get rid of the fluid in his lungs. I got to hold him for the first time since those first moments, this afternoon. They said if everything continues at this rate, he can be home Monday or Tuesday.

If you haven't seen the photos feel free to go to Kenny's myspace. myspace.com/highclass_kt When I get the gumption I'll post photos here.

Samuel Update

2008-06-29T15:53:00.001-04:00

ay one (6/26 Kenny is writing this. Pics are posted at www.myspace.com/highclass_kt)

Angel managed to push Samuel Elliot out in record time. You would think she has done this before. Little Sam was 6 lb 10 oz and 19 3/4 inches long. Good lookin kid. We got to hold him for the first hour before I had to walk him back to the nursery. People started comming in and waiting on the baby which was supposed to come back to us in an hour. After about 90 minutes a nurse comes in and tells us that she isnt happy with his color and that she was getting a consult with a Dr on hand. They checked his blood oxygen level and discovered it was at 70% where it needs to be at 90% or above. Because of this they had to take him to the NICU with lung issues. They were unable to tell us at this point what was going on. We were told that infection, premature lung disease, and fluid in his lungs were all possible issues. After a few more hours of worry we were given the chance to see him. They were still unsure as to what was wrong, but he had stableized. Thry a CPap they were giving him oxygen in a higher than normal dose and with a bit more pressure. The CPap is just tubes to the nose that puff air into his lungs. He is being kept in the NICU and we are no longer given the chance to hold him. The Dr's attempt to reassure us on the situation over and over again, but when it ends with "But we really dont know yet", it isnt as helpful as we would like.

Day 2 6/27
Anyway, we got back up to the hospital to find out Samuel was doing a bit better. X-rays today showed that his left lung seems to be the problem, tho they still cant say for certin what it is. They believe that it is fluid in his lings and should clear up. Infection was ruled out because his blood work came back clean. Thru the night they had lowered his oxygen in his tubes from 33% down to 21% (the normal level that we breath), however the pressure in the tubes is needing to stay high because when they lower it he has troubles breathing. Dad and Isaiah got to go in and see him for the first time today. Because he is being kept asleep they didnt get any reaction.
Angel got to go in this evening and help feed him his first formula. (To this point all his food and water came by way of his IV) Angel held the feeding tube and got to hold his had. After a while he started to have hickups. Thru the night they are planning to lower the oxygen pressure levels slowly adn see how he reacts. Over the next few days they hope to have him ready to come home, however they said they are leary to predict anything because it could be weeks. His status can change from hour to hour and can be hard to predict.

nothing but nerves

2008-06-29T15:52:00.000-04:00

So we leave the house tonight at about 11:30 to head up to the hospital. That's barely 6 hours from now. I've been a ball of nerves since this time last night. I can't even give you a real answer as to why I'm so nervous. Just pray that everything goes ok!

We're heading out now, to the hospital. Isaiah just broke my heart. He told me that he will miss me while I am gone. The only time we've been apart is 1. when he was pretty young, Pam took him for a few days to NC with her. 2. he went camping overnight with Kenny and his friend's house. This is big business to us. Right now he's camped out on the air mattress in the living room with his uncle jimmy. He just said "I don't like that you and momma are leaving. You'll never come back again." see what i mean?

::sighs::

I guess I'll update again on Saturday... if that's the day we come home.

A date is set.

2008-06-19T21:01:00.001-04:00

Ha! And i know what half of you are thinking! No, Kenny hasn't proposed and we haven't set a wedding date =P

I went to my regular OB today. He said we would check my cervix and decide from there when to induce. He just barely had his fingers inserted when he said "Oh yes, you will definitely be having this baby next week!"

"How do you figure?" I asked.

"Well, I'm touching his head."

Just then Samuel kicked.

"I'm pretty sure his head feels your fingers!"

"Yeah, I mean, I am reeeeally touching his head. Let me go make a call."

he leaves, I get cleaned up and he comes back in.

"How does Wednesday at midnight sound? You'll be 38 weeks, considered full term and we shouldn't have to worry about GD or Pre-E again. You should have a fairly quick delivery."

Yeah, so Samuel should be born Thursday, June 26. Unless of course, I go before then!

2 cm dilated

2008-06-05T21:42:00.000-04:00

Went to the regular OB today and he said he's not in as big a rush as the specialist to induce. whew. NST went well then he decided, in the event that we need to induce early, that he would do the group b strep this week rather than next and check my cervix. Good thing he did! I am 2 cm dilated 50% effaced and my cervix is suuuuuper soft. He said if we did need to induce that it would go quickly and smoothly because of that. (Which I already knew because I had to be induced with Isaiah and it was about the same way!) So yay for that!

Talked to my daddy last night. He has some sores on his ankles that are supposedly a sign of kidney issues (according to his foot specialist - keeps an eye on the failing circulation in his feet). Being a diabetic, he needs to take this seriously. He has yet to go to the doctor for some bloodwork. I feel like I am at a loss because I can't control the situation.

35 weeks with plans for induction

2008-06-03T14:57:00.001-04:00

Gained 1 lb back so I've gained 8 for the pregnancy. Specialist says things are looking good. Baby is engaged and in the vertex position. I've been having sporadic contractions. Protein in my urine is back with a vengeance so he wants my regular OB to induce at 37 weeks 38 if I can make it that far. I'll be 35 weeks tomorrow! That's just 2 or 3 weeks away! I'm definitely panicking.

updates since last update (May 6)

2008-06-03T14:49:00.002-04:00

even more fun at the Perinatologist. Oy.
Thursday, May 08, 2008

Today I went to the Perinatologist for the Gestational Diabetes and the Preeclampsia. First I spent an hour with the diabetic counselor (who the staff there lovingly call the Blood Sugar Nazi) She gave me a sugar monitor and taught me how to use it and then gave me a fairly strict diet to follow. I follow-up with her weekly.
Then I saw the Specialist. He did a scan and said that I'm not producing enough amniotic fluid and that the baby is measuring good everywhere except around his abdomen. - He said this is a symptom of my high blood pressure. He weighs around 3 lbs right now and doc said that is good. He said because of the various complications I am having they need to see me in their office to be checked and scanned weekly from here on out - As well as seeing the regular OB weekly. I'm all doctored out. for real.

I'm stressed, worried, overwhelmed , worried ....did i say terrified yet?

5/13/2008

I've been keeping my sugar at a pretty good level over the past few days. My before breakfast number is always high (should be between 60-90) around 100, but I haven't had an after meal level that was more than the range (60-120).

So granny and Anita sent out the invites to my shower last week. I didn't invite many people as I don't really have friends and family down here. I invited the girls from my work (none can make it) the girls from the messenger (4 of them - none can make it) Kenny's step mom (can't make it - going out of town) and Kenny's gramma (probably won't show) I'm a little disappointed that granny went through all this trouble to plan a shower for me and no one will be there. =/

My pelvic pain has worsened... I've discovered it's called Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. There's not a whole lot that can be done for it from what I understand.
Joy.

Update on the specialist appts.
Thursday, May 15, 2008

Specialist appointment first thing this morning.
I've not gained any weight since the last specialist visit last week. In fact I think I lost an ounce or two.
blood pressure was 141/83 - Doc said that was looking ok.
Ultrasound looked ok I guess because he didn't mention anything negative.
He just said "looks good and we'll see you next week, not much longer to go."
I told him I was shooting for 38 weeks, 5 days and he said he was happy with that at this point.

baby shower
Saturday, May 17, 2008

Isaiah and I just got home from the shower at Anita's house.
Kenny stayed home and put up the baby's crib.
It was fun. Granny's family has definitely adopted us in. Kenny's gramma came and so did his stepmom. Otherwise it was just Granny, me, Anita, Brooke, her two little girls (Katie and Jaiden), Ellagene and Sondra. Very small but still very fun.

We got:
lots of clothes
plenty of diapers in various sizes
plenty of wipes
some washclothes
quite a few bibs
a good bit of baby wash and lotions
a baby bathtub
a swing
a few blankets
bottles and drop ins
paci thermometer
tub thermometer
dish washer basket
granny got me "hospital attire" (pajamas and a robe to wear at the hospital)

There's still plenty we need to get including some big items:
crib mattress
bedding for the bed
pack n play
breast pump
car seat

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Today was a busy day for me. At 8:30 I had an appointment with the Specialist. 10:30 I had an appointment with my OB and at 1:30 I had Isaiah's IEP meeting and a meeting with the OT to learn the Wilbarger Protocol.

Specialist

Everything looked great. I lost 1 lb since Thursday. Fluid was good. No protein in the urine. BP was high 158/90 but I also missed two doses of my beta blocker so he wasn't took concerned. Baby looked good. Heartbeat was good. See you next week, please spread out OB and Specialist appts from now on.

OB

We really just sat and talked urine was fine, BP was 141/78 which was much better. Lost 6 lbs since the last time I saw him (May 6) He said that was fine - as long as the baby is gaining its ok for me to lose weight because I am so heavy. (his scale has me 1 lb lighter than the Specialist's scale) I go back to him on Thursdays from now on beginning with a Non Stress Test this Thursday. He said he was ok with June 30 as our goal to have the baby.

IEP

We just released him from Pre-K and talked about Kindergarten goals. I found out whose class he will be in next year and met the special Ed teachers he will have consult with. It was bittersweet to be seeing Sallie and Kaye for the last time. Sallie bought us some onesies and sleepers for Samuel. She is just like family and made sure to let me know that we will always be considered family. I really love that school.

OT

I learned the Wilbarger Protocol back when we first learned Isaiah had sensory issues. We were misinformed at the time so it didn't work properly. His OT brought us a new brush and demonstrated the protocol for me. If you want to know more about it go here http://www.pbbkids.com/the_wilbarger_brushing_protocol.htm.

Another specialist update
Tuesday, May 27, 2008

BP was 160/95 when I got there this morning then 145/90 (as it has been) right before I left. Baby looks great he's about 4 lbs 6 oz. and looks healthy. Dr. Briary is more concerned with me than he is the baby. He's a good doctor. I like him a lot. I hope I keep seeing him. So far I've seen Dr. Torres and Dr. Briary, two times each. Oh, I lost 2 more lbs. yeah. now I'm down to a 7 lb gain for the pregnancy. (and the baby is over 4 of those lbs!) wow.

My fun trip to L&D

2008-05-06T17:49:00.000-04:00

So today I went to the OB for a routine visit and to find out my 3 hour glucose test results. I didn't gain any weight and am holding strong at 15 lbs. gained total.
The doctor tells me that there has been protein in my urine the past few visits and that my blood pressure has still been so/so -not HIGH - probably because of the Labetalol but not great either. He tells me I failed the glucose test miserably ( at 2 hours it was 189 and at three hours it was 187). He said he was going to have me do some blood work, collect a 24 hour urine specimen and then send me to the Diabetic Specialist for the *dun-dun* diet.
oh it gets better.
As I am waiting at the lab for Tracy to finish with her patient, the doctor comes back to me and asks me to come talk to him in his office. He tells me because of the things going on with me, he wants me to go to L&D for 24 hour monitoring. I had a panic attack. I cried. I called work, I called Kenny. Kenny got off work and got me to take me to the hospital. I got hooked up to the monitors and gave a few samples, ate my sugar free 2200 calorie diet lunch then was told 3 and a half hours later that my blood work looked good, and that my blood pressure looked good. So they sent me home to collect my sample at home.
They ordered a steroid shot too, incase I had to deliver early. They wound up not giving it to me. The doctor said just to keep an eye on symptoms and I need to have an office visit every week from now until delivery.

so yeah.

Oh yeah, and now granny is having my shower on May 17! woohoo!

We have a name.

2008-03-26T19:30:00.001-04:00

Samuel Elliot is going to be this fella's name. Kenny wants to call him Elliot. We'll see what happens :)

We registered!

2008-03-09T09:14:00.001-04:00

click the baby registry below- actually it's being stupid so click the link and enter my registry #. 89096624

Oh and for your enjoyment... here's my fat rear at 21 weeks. Ignore the fat arm, please.

Next OB appointment: Tuesday, March 11 @10:30 a.m. - 22w6d

no registry today

2008-02-24T17:47:00.000-05:00

Today we went to Chattanooga because we had a few things to do up there. While we were there we thought we'd go into Babies R Us to register... mostly because we thought this would be the best place to take Isaiah while registering. - Less chance of him wanting things for himself =P But turns out the computers were down and we couldn't make a registry...

The good thing is, that Isaiah was teaching us that babies only need certain things. On his list were:

1. a car seat
2. socks
3. clothes
4. diapers
5. baby shoes

in that order.

So we let him pick out baby brudder's first outfit. It's adorable! Though it took us about 20 minutes to convince him that we didn't need shoes for the baby.

Here is his outfit.

Next OB appointment: Tuesday, March 11 @10:30 a.m. - 22w6d

Catch up

2008-02-18T15:02:00.002-05:00

On Valentine's Day Kenny went with me to the OB. The NEW OB. He was an awesome doctor. I can't wait to continue my prenatal care with him. He had them do an ultrasound. The tech said the baby was measuring about a week smaller than my estimated gestational age - based on my period. But they said it was ok.

We found out the sex of the baby... A BOY.

I was sad at first and we didn't tell Isaiah for a few days... because we feared his reaction. He knows now and is trying to get used to the idea.

We're trying to think of baby names...
Here's a list of those we've agreed on:

-Wesley
-Samuel
-Elliot
-Grayson
-Carter
-Parker

I've been having a rough few days being overwhelmed at the thoughts of preparing for a new baby.

This is the crib set i want. Sadly it costs an arm and a leg. the cheapest i've seen it is $150 on ebay.

Vote!

2008-02-04T17:56:00.001-05:00

IEP results

2008-01-29T20:02:00.001-05:00

Isaiah's IEP was last Thursday.
I met the actual OT who does the evals and plans what needs to be done with the kids.
I met the new speech teacher.
All together there were: ST, OT, Special Needs Pre-K Teacher, Regular Pre-K Teacher, Pre-K Coordinator & me.
It was a 3 hour long session.
It was wonderful.
^{I know you all hate single sentences, centered, each on their own line.
Drives ya nuts, doesn't it?}From the IEP
Plan for Kindergarten includes: Isaiah will go to regular Kindergarten and continue ST and OT. He will also continue Special Needs consult - except it won't be pull-out consult (where they pull him from class). The Special Needs Instructor will go to Isaiah's class for one hour per week and observe him. Then he will meet with the Kindergarten Teacher to help him/her help Isaiah learn to the best of his ability as well as teach the teacher how to deal with his social barriers and "quirks."

Isaiah's strength area is cognitive skills. He can count over 100. He knows upper and lowercase letters of the alphabet. He knows his personal information (name, parents names, address, birthdate) and can name more than 10 colors and 6 shapes. He can complete classroom puzzles and fine motor manipulatives. He is beginning to write more than just his first name. He can write "Mom and Dad" (and "yes") without assistance. Isaiah enjoys interactive stories and is able to answer simple questions about the story when visual support is provided. (he can only answer questions when he looks at pictures, take the pictures away and he doesn't understand what you are asking). Isaiah enjoys social interactions, and has been observed to independently initiate social greetings. His voice and fluency skills are also considered strengths.

Isaiah's weakest areas are social and communication. He has difficulities with classroom transitions. Liz Whitson (OT) recommended giving him processing time (5 minutes) before transitions. (She also suggested the trampoline in the morning). She also thinks his pulling and touching other students is due to wanting deep pressure. They are going to try small objects in his pockets to help with overstimulation. He has problems walking in long lines (does best in first three positions or in the very last position.) He plays best with 1-2 favorite peers for short (less than 5 minutes) interactions. He plays beside peers and talks but is often playing independently. He changes play centers every five minutes or so. Isaiah has problems staying out of other students' "space." He places his hands on other students and doesn't stop when they tell him or become upset. He has difficulties playing class games (shouts out answers or tells everyone during guessing games who has the hidden item.) He doesn't seem to understand the process. OT said most of these issues are due to overstimulating. (Sensory Processing Disorder)
Isaiah can talk and get ideas across most of the time. However, he cannot answer Why, when, and How questions. He cannot answer simple questions about stories. He looks for visual cues to help him answer questions such as: "What did you eat for lunch?" He has difficulty answering "How do you feel?" and emotional questions. Isaiah refers to boys and girls as "he/him". He doesn't use "she/her". He still has difficulty looking at a simple object picture and telling 2-3 things about it. He will tell one thing and staff will have to ask questions to get him to tell you more. Isaiah's language disorder makes it difficult for him to fully express his thoughts, wants, and ideas in all settings. Isaiah also demonstrates difficulty comprehending multi-step (more than one step) directions and large amounts of information given at one time without visual support.

So. Some great. Plenty not so great. He has definitely come a long way. And sadly some of these things we may never overcome. But we are working hard as a team to help him : ) and one day the strengths area with be bigger than the weakness area. We set up some great goals for the rest of this year and at the end of this school year we will set up goals for next year. It's sad that we will be moving on and leaving Sallie (pre-k special needs instructor) behind. My biggest fear is that as each year passes, less effort and attention will go into these meetings and helping Isaiah.

Next OB appointment: Unknown - switching OBs & waiting for the call.

First Sunday..

2008-01-13T17:18:00.000-05:00

Today I went to church - for the first time in over 8 years. Alone. I don't want Kenny to feel forced into it.
I was terrified at first and I'm not even sure why. There were several times I got teary-eyed and choked up, I sure do miss having a church family.
A lot was similar to the church I went to back home, but friendlier. Strangely enough, it was the first time I've felt home since I moved here.
I'll definitely be going back.

When I left church and came home we took Isaiah to the Creative Discovery Museum. His school had given out free tickets a month or so ago, and they were going to expire on the 15th. There were so many things that he didn't want to do, things he said he was scared of - causing a meltdown (or four!). They were all things he did last year when we went - and had a great time doing them. Sometimes it makes me abhor autism. He's a brilliant child, but I hate the unpredictability that comes along with it.

Next OB appointment: Wednesday, January 16, 2008 @ 2 p.m. - 15 weeks.

13 wk 6 days.

2008-01-08T15:32:00.000-05:00

Being as how I was super heavy to begin with, I don't think I'll be doing belly shots like everyone else does. I will say that I started wearing the next size up in jeans (because I had them handy) and now I can't button or zip those. My tummy is feeling harder and I can't suck it in anymore. It's crazy. I don't remember it being this way with Isaiah, but i was also 30 lbs lighter back then and it was 6 years ago.

I ordered a few maternity things from LaneBryant.com (I have a credit card for them) but they really don't have a selection. I can't wait till I have a few extra bucks and can get a few things from Motherhoodplus.com. It's weird because I didn't NEED alot of maternity clothes last time, because I didn't work. Now I need at least a weeks worth of work tops and two or three pants. Not to mention jeans and some tees. I got teased at work yesterday because my work shirt had gotten so tight that the buttons are pulling and it took me till closing to realize it. ::shakes head::

Next OB appointment: Wednesday, January 16, 2008 @ 2 p.m. - 15 weeks.

I guess I just haven't had the gumption to...

2008-01-05T21:18:00.000-05:00

I've been so ho-hum the last few weeks.
I'm sad that my employer doesn't pay maternity leave and i have to use vacation time to cover part of the leave and then go without pay for the other three weeks.
I'm sad that the OB bills have begun rolling in.
I'm sad that we have no baby items, save for the crib.
I'm sad that my daddy, mema and best friends are so far away and that they can't come down.

I'm kind of bummed that everyone and their mother are pregnant right now. - My co-worker is 5 weeks behind me with her 1st child, my sister-in-law's 19 year old daughter is pregnant (and on drugs), my (future) sister-in-law (Kenny's 17 year old sister) is pregnant and due around the same time I am and I just found out that my cousin got his gf pregnant. - Why am I so petty about this? I'm happy for each of them, really I am; but at the same time it bums me out, too. Why?
I'm sad that I'm missing everyone so much; especially my mom.

I am grateful that I am healthy.
I am grateful that I've only gained 2 pregnancy pounds so far.
I am grateful that my best friend is planning on coming down around the birth of this baby, so i won't feel so alone at the hospital, like we did with isaiah (that is, if she makes it for the birth!).
I'm grateful that I have a friend that is going to coach me with breastfeeding.
I'm grateful that i have a list of faves that totally understand and don't mind when i write stupid entries like this.
I'm grateful that this will all work out in the end; that it always does.

Christmas and other stuff

2007-12-27T20:49:00.000-05:00

First off, I forgot to write about the best gift I've ever gotten for Christmas. We had a work Christmas party, for just our branch and drew names for a pollyanna type gift exchange. We each got a piece of paper where we were to write 5 things that we would like around $20. One of mine was a Bible. I haven't had a Bible since high school and that one was water damaged. Maria got me a Bible. A blue bible, with silver lettering and silver on the page edges...and my name "Angel" etched into the cover. I was so overjoyed that I cried. It was really the best present ever.

Our Christmas went well. We had planned not to do anything for each other and just concentrate on Isaiah and all, but Kenny and Isaiah wound up getting me a few small gifts: some socks, a pair of earrings that Isaiah thought I just had to have and some massage slippers. Sadly, I didn't get Kenny anything. Isaiah had a good Christmas though. He loved everything he was given, including the clothes, right down to the socks and underwear.

Right now I am just a little panicked over money and adding another child to our household. It'll work out, it always does, I definitely have faith in that. But I can't seem to NOT worry or try to control the situation somehow.

Scare at the doctors.

2007-12-18T18:00:00.000-05:00

So, today was my day off but I went in to work to help out anyway until my doctor appointment.
Then I headed over to the doctor. I saw the midwife and she started to listen with the doppler. After about 10 minutes and various positions, she couldn't find the fetal heart tone. She was worried, even though I told her that I was about 30 lbs heavier with this pregnancy than last and thought we couldn't hear it because my fat.
She was so worried that she sent me to the hospital for an emergency ultrasound. Of course, this sent me into hysterics. I called Kenny on my way there and then headed in.

Super long story short. It's there, FHT was 167 and baby looks just like a gummi bear. Because it was an US for possible issues with baby, they didn't print any pictures. She did a regular AND transvaginal. Oy.

Oh well, at least we're ok. I'm just fat.

The parent-teacher conference.

2007-12-11T22:22:00.000-05:00

The conference should have lasted 15 minutes, but instead lasted 1 hour and 15 minutes. Academically she couldn't be more pleased with him. He is light years ahead of the rest of the kids - mostly because of the time spent in Sallie's class.

Socially, he's still behind.

As far as the "bully" thing goes she had a few things to talk to me about.

1. He had issues when he was waiting in line. Mostly if he was towards the middle of the line. He would squeeze the child in front of him or behind him. She finally asked the OT how to handle this and the OT said that he was being overstimulated by the kids around him and was sensory seeking to calm himself. They've improved it by keeping him in front or in back... and the OT gave them a squeezie ball to give him if needed.

2a. Pushing. As far as the child from this morning goes, she told the parapro that it was ironic that the child said that because he is typically the one that starts the issues. He kind of gets Isaiah going and then Isaiah gets carried away.

2b. Gym or recess. Because these times aren't structured he has the worst time here. He doesn't know what to do with his energy so he pushes, runs into other kids, hits them with his chest (kinda like football players or frat boys). She said you can tell that he's just overstimulated and frustrated, but she doesn't know how to handle it because she can't work one on one with him... she has 20 kids. So this happens on a near-daily basis, but we'll work on it as best we can. It's good to know that it's not that he's being mean, but that he's being sensory over stimulated.

She said that most days he is the most well-behaved and that he is the most respectful child she's ever had. She gushed over him and really made me feel better.

catch up // few cross posts from OD

2007-12-11T08:23:00.000-05:00

12/5/2007 through today.

12/5/07
Day three of my vacation.
I have this huge list of things I wanted to accomplish this week while off. Sadly, I haven't done a single one. I am either too nauseous or too busy napping.

I'm grateful that I have the time off though :) Even more grateful that it's paid. Money has been suuuuper tight since we bought the house, but we were expecting it. We WEREN'T expecting to get pregnant so soon after my coming off the pill. Not to mention we had either given away or sold ALL of our baby stuff, due to lack of storage space. The only thing I have left is the crib. I guess we'll be yard sale-ing in the spring to get the other items we need.

We barely had the money to throw together a little birthday party for Isaiah this weekend. Thankfully we didn't invite any of his school friends so it shouldn't be too much. I bought the stuff to make cupcakes and we got him a CARS pinata, because he's been wanting one so bad.

We're managing and really that's all that matters. Right?

* I really love how each of you that leaves notes about the baby uses the term SHE. I have yet to have one person call it a HE. Wishful thinking, eh?

12/08/2007

So my PCP called yesterday. I was a bit shocked that it wasn't a nurse from his office, but himself that called. He told me he got my blood work back and my thyroid, indeed, is still low. So he put me back on Synthroid, er rather the generic so that I could pay just $4 for it - Walmart has this great prescription plan for generic drugs just $4/ script. He also lowered my dose to 25 mcg.

Today is little man's birthday party. It won't be much, as we are broke as broke gets lately. But atleast he'll be celebrating with a few friends and lots of family.

12/11/07 My son, the bully.

I'm a little sad. I took Isaiah to school today and was talking with his teacher about his time-outs. (She says it's mostly because he has so much energy that he just can't sit still) and another little boy came up and said "Isaiah is mean to us ALL the time." And then his teacher turned to him and told him to worry about himself and let her handle this, but then she never went on about him being mean. We have his parent-teacher conference this afternoon and I'm really not looking forward to it. But I am going to force her to tell me what that kid was talking about. Never in a million years did we think Isaiah would turn out to be THAT KID. We talk to him about bullying all the time. I'm just really sad by it. It makes me feel like I've failed as a parent. Could it have something to do with the autism? or could it be something else that we are missing? I mean, it's still likely I've failed as a parent, but its not often you hear of an autistic child being socially mean. And, of course, I'm hit with this during the first trimester...already an overly emotional woman, but now an emotional train wreck. Go figure.

looking for some resources

2007-12-04T11:30:00.001-05:00

I had a terrible time with breastfeeding and Isaiah. The hospital made me supplement formula because my milk hadn't come in yet, and then within a few days of being home, we realized that I was starving him.

I don't want that to happen again.

Davney has already told me of the book I need to start with. And I am going to the library and then the used bookstore today to see if I can find it.

But if anyone else can share with me their best breast feeding resources I would greatly appreciate it.

* start with 'the breastfeeding book' by martha sears :)
its the best :)
♥ [mrsNo]

Isaiah turns 5

2007-12-02T19:02:00.000-05:00

But first...a glimpse of my night last night as Isaiah and I rode with some co-workers and their kids on a float in the Fort O parade. You know you love it. Frosty was attacking me.

Isaiah's party will be next Saturday, but today we DID go and see Santa. Where he told Santa he is 5 today and wants an eyeclops for Christmas. The coloring is off in the original photo, too.

Yesterday at the Doctors...

2007-11-28T19:43:00.000-05:00

My new doctor ROCKS. Sadly the wait time is ridiculous, but he is a super thorough fella. He's a bit worried about my heart (I have PVCs to begin with and ontop of that my heart races ALOT). So before he makes me wear a monitor again (that was pure hell!) he is going to take my pulse whenever he's in the bank (did I mention that he is one of my bank customers?)

On the plus side, I don't need thyroid meds right now and I quite possibly will not need them during the entire pregnancy... however, I will most likely need to go back on them when the pregnancy is over. I go back in four months to have that checked again.

He took more blood because he feels there is something else medically causing my weight issues, aside from the hypo.. and wants to get a jump start on things so I can get started as soon as I have the baby.

Lindsey, about your note: Strangely enough, I became really hardcore about keeping my lid on my money drawer and in the past two weeks have had just one $10 overage (I still maintain that it's probably in a strap that got miscounted). 90% of the previous outages were large amounts and all shortages.

cross posts from OD

2007-11-27T09:39:00.000-05:00

Ha! Debbie, so there! 11/26/07
My someday-she'll-be-my-sister-in-law-if-Kenny-ever-comes-around decided that I need to write more.

First off, about the pain. I've still had some off and on, but still no bleeding. So my guess for now is round ligament pain from the stretching ligaments in my lower abdomen.

I've come down with a cold. great. nothing like a cold during the worst-feeling time of a pregnancy. I have a Primary Care doctor appointment tomorrow - he needs to keep an eye on my thyroid during the pregnancy - so I'll see what he has to say.

Two weeks ago Kenny had a lack of work week at work. That means they get the week off without pay. Lucky for them the HR department files unemployment for them. But two weeks later and Kenny's check still hasn't come. We have $40 in the bank and bills to pay. He is off AGAIN this week for another lack of work week. Oh and did I mention my entire two weeks worth of pay on Dec. 3 will pay our mortgage and JUST our mortgage? I DESPISE money. Don't even get me started on Christmas shopping.

I don't even want to talk about work. I absolutely adore my job, but I keep having overages and shortages that can't be accounted for. I KNOW I CAN count money. I've been doing it since I was 14. There's just something fishy about all this.

Saturday we (me, Isaiah & Kenny - though he doesn't know it yet) are going to be in a parade for the city that I work in. Our bank has a float and I was volunteered to ride on it.

so that's an update in our neck of the woods.

So soon? 11/27/07

Debbie does it again! I thought I had the last laugh but then she hit me with tons o questions.

I didn't really have any complications with Isaiah. In the beginning I had some bleeding, and at the end they thought he had his first BM on the inside, so they had a team of NICU nurses and doctors in the room as he delivered. Otherwise he was a healthy HUGE baby.

Rest easy, according to the ancient chinese birth chart at Labor of love.com, it will be a girl. But then again... according to the ancient chinese birth chart at storknet.com, it will be a boy. (26 at time of conception, conception month, October).

Hehe. Our bank has a float in the Annual Fort Oglethorpe Christmas Parade. The theme is "let it snow." Our float will have (play) money rather than snow. As far as the fishy shortages and overages... I count my money three times before it's given to the customer. If there was a discrepancy in my counting I would catch it within those three times AND the amounts are always $50 or $100. So to me, that's fishy.

Yes, Davney, i need to add a pregnancy ticker =P It's at the bottom.

Kenny works at a place that makes GE ranges. He started out in assembly 7 years ago and now works in one of the storage areas where he's in charge of getting parts in and getting them to the lines.

And now that all of that is out of the way. I will tell you about my dream. First some background. As most of you know I have hypothyroidism.... and I have been off of the medication since June. I've been worried about that because any thyroid issue can cause complications during pregnancy or congenital issues with the baby. So with that said, I've been dreaming that all this time we thought I was pregnant, it was just a blighted ovum. OK, I know you're all thinking, "What in the world is a blighted ovum?" Basically, a blighted ovum (also known as “anembryonic pregnancy”) happens when a fertilized egg attaches itself to the uterine wall, but the embryo does not develop. Cells develop to form the pregnancy sac, but not the embryo itself.

Hopefully that dream goes away.

So, now that everyone knows...

2007-11-23T18:53:00.000-05:00

and if you don't, go back one entry and do the word scramble first.

Basically, I finished the pill just before my Oct. 3rd period. I was due for another period on the 31st. Well, it was late. I thought since my periods are typically irregular, except when I was on the pill, that it was just being typical. On Nov. 7th I took a test, but it was negative...The following Tuesday (Nov. 13) I wasn't feeling that great so that night I thought what the heck, my period is two weeks late, so I took another test. THAT one was positive. I had a panic attack and Kenny ofcourse, was happy. That's the way it went last time. We kept it mostly a secret until Thanksgiving day, because we wanted to wait until after my first doctor's appointment where he confirmed the pregnancy and due date. I had figured it to be July 9, 2008 with a conception date of Oct. 17 (the day before we closed on the house!) and they figured it to be July 10, 2008. Oh and I wound up taking 3 more hpt after that first positive.

So there we have it. I am pregnant...again. :)

BIG Thanksgiving news!

2007-11-22T19:01:00.000-05:00

But not without some work.... unscramble the sentence below!

ew rea vnihag onreath byab!

Two Things (stolen from Rachel!)

2007-11-20T18:39:00.000-05:00

TWO THINGS

Two Names You go by:
1. Angel
2. Momma

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Work clothes
2. Name badge

Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. Love
2. Trust

Two of Your Favorite Things to Do:
1. Read
2. Sleep

Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1. Money
2. More Money

Two pets you had/have:
1. Lolo - kitty
2. Squeaky - childhood kitty

Two people who will fill this out:
1. Davney, maybe.
2.

Two things you did last night:
1. passed out in the chair
2. Helped make dinner.

Two things you ate today:
1. Banana
2. Lemon meringue pie

Two people you Last Talked To:
1. Kenny.
2. Isaiah.

Two Things You’re Doing Tomorrow:
1. working
2. making pumpkin pies.

Two longest car rides:
1. Philly, Pa to LaFayette, Ga (14 hours one way) and back.
2. LaFayette, Ga to Auburn, In. (9.5 hours one way) and back.

Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Christmas
2. Thanksgiving

Two Favorite Beverages:
1. Pepsi
2. Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash

Person no longer alive who you’d like to talk to:
1. My Mom.
2. My pop-pop

Two favorite things in life:
1. being a mom.
2. feeling needed.

Two Nicknames you’ve been given:
1. Leak-leak.
2. pork chop.

Two of your best memories:
1. Giving birth to isaiah.
2. the last afternoon with my momma.

Two favorite colors:
1. blue
2. green

Two favorite people from the Bible- after Jesus:
1. Mary–as a mother, what she went through…blows me away!
2. Moses (good ones, Rach!)

Two things you’d go back and change if you could:
1. lose weight alot sooner.
2. Been more active in extra curricular activities in high school

Update (Back on the net, yeah!)

2007-11-10T14:59:00.000-05:00

HOUSE: We began moving the weekend of Oct. 18 and finished moving on Oct. 31. The house is mostly settled. Atleast our bedroom, Isaiah's room, living room and kitchen are. The extra bedroom is housing the computer and office stuff until we have the next kid. (speaking of which, Isaiah is now asking for a baby brudder named Adam) . We had a housewarming on Nov. 3.

Kenny's dad got us an espresso machine.
Granny (babysitter) got us a kitchen table, $50 and Disney Cars sheets for Isaiah.
Granny's daughter, Anita, got us some kitchen towels, $50 and a Disney Cars Towmater pillow for Isaiah.
Granny's daughter, Sondra, got us kitchen items, and a Disney Cars Hamper.
Granny's granddaughter, Brooke and her girls, got us some kitchen items and a Disney Cars nightlight.
Granny's granddaughter, Brittany, got us some kitchen towels and an awesome Apple Cider Candle.
Marcus gave us $75.
With the cash we went to Target and got curtains and curtain rods. It definitely feels more like a home now.

WORK: I still have my job. Thank goodness. I got put on probation and already had $90 missing. The branch manager really likes me and wants to keep me so we are going to go through some steps to find out what's going on. I still LOVE my job.

ISAIAH: Isaiah is doing ok in school. As far as consult (special needs with Sallie) goes, she plans to keep him on but she believes he will be fine academically, she's more worried about how he'll handle things emotionally. He's been getting A LOT of green dots and even got a yellow dot. Thankfully no red ones, though the blue (great day) are few a far between). He'll be five in a few weeks. It's hard to believe!

ME: My wisdom teeth need to come out ASAP, but I don't have the $600 it takes to do it. I am in TONS of pain. I've got a doctor (primary care physician) appointment in a week or two so that my Hypo can be taken care of. I took my last month of the pill in September, so we'll see what the future holds.

I've gotta go for now Isaiah is begging me to come with him.

I've missed you all tons. I don't know how I'll ever get caught up with you all. Thanks for sticking around and waiting on me :)

Highs and Lows

2007-10-18T08:07:00.000-04:00

Low: I made a mistake at work the other day and ran a deposit the right way but wrote the deposit slip out wrong. We thought we had resolved it, but apparently it still affected my cash somehow and I had to write $300.50 up. I was already at $294.00, apparently, because I was told I only had $5.50 left to go until I hit the $500 loss limit allotted to us. I managed to do this in just over 90 days at the bank. After I reach $500, I'll get 90 days probation, if I have a loss of $50 in that 90 days they take the next course of action, which I am pretty sure is termination. I just don't see how I've lost that much money. I'm careful. I count my money 3 times, two times to myself and once to the customer.

High: In other news, we close on our first home today at 2:30. The way they have it figured out, we'll be getting $19.59 back! Kenny will be leaving work at 12, so he and I can go eat lunch together first.

Do you realize...

2007-10-13T13:51:00.001-04:00

That we have 5, yes, FIVE days left until we close on our house?

I hope to get the U-Haul reserved sometime this weekend, but I am so hesitant that we won't close on our expected close date.

One of the local furniture and appliance stores has some scratch & dent items so we are going to look for a fridge there.

Searah came, and Searah left.

2007-10-08T08:14:00.001-04:00

We met Sarah on Saturday in Dalton. We didn't really do much. We ate, went back to LaFayette, hung out at the house. Everyone showed up a little while later and we went out to eat again. Then we all hung out until pretty late. Sunday, again, we didn't do much. We drove around, went to eat, came home and it was already time for Sarah to head back to her hotel (four hours away). Isaiah became attached to her pretty quickly. He didn't get upset when she left, but I sure did! I swore I wouldn't but when we hugged goodbye it hit me. Having a best friend 900 miles away from you is IMO just as hard as a romantic long distance relationship. She MIGHT be back in November or December for more training. I kinda hope so :)

Today is Columbus day, so the bank is closed. Tomorrow I need to fax the loan processor newer paystubs. I'm getting more and more nervous. We have 10 more days.

school foto

2007-10-03T18:57:00.001-04:00

house photos

2007-09-27T20:24:00.000-04:00

SarahBeth is coming! yay!

2007-09-20T17:53:00.001-04:00

My best friend (Sarah) works as a Trainer for ADP in Pennsylvania. She gets to travel all along the East Coast and train employees. They're giving her an opportunity to help open and train employees for a new branch in Augusta (I think). So while she is there (4 hours south of us) she is going to drive up and visit us. I couldn't be more excited!! I wish things were timed so that we would be in our new home, but alas, they won't be. That's ok though, because she'll be here for a day or so and that's most important.

i ain't skerred

2007-09-20T14:36:00.000-04:00

The house we are purchasing is a Fannie Mae home. Their preferred lender is ExpressPath. You must be approved through ExpressPath to even move forward with an offer. So the day we saw the house we did the pre-approval. Last night at nearly 8 p.m. the officer from ExpressPath called me to see how things were going. I told him that we put in an offer and that we went with another lender. He kept trying to scare me with horror stories of cutomers that don't go with them at first. I called our Real Estate Agent last night and left a message about it, then emailed our lender and copied our agent to it. They both called me back today to reassure me. They are making ammendments to our aggreement right now because Lisa is having to change up some of the closing costs.

I feel a bit better, still very anxious.

1 month

2007-09-18T19:34:00.000-04:00

One month from today we will be closing on our first home (if everything goes according to plan). Wow.

mission 101

2007-09-16T20:19:00.002-04:00

The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria: Tasks must be specific with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on your part). Cross them off as you do them, and add the dates. Include the date you started the list and the finishing date. (You can use this to help figure out the finish date.)

More about Mission 101.

Start Date: Friday, February 16, 2007
End Date: Friday, November 13, 2009

Finance:
001. Pay off credit cards. (Hopefully with the 2008 tax refund in 2009, unless something else comes up!)
002. Pay off car loan
~~003. Pay off bank loan (Hopefully with the 2008 tax refund in 2009, unless something else comes up!)~~
004. Make a donation of at least $50 to a charity.
005. Save $1 per day for the duration of the mission.
~~006. Have a yard sale either immediately before or immediately after we move.~~
007. Start writing everything down in checkbook and balance once a week. *began this on 4/17 continuing.
008. Average out bills and pay same amount every month
~~009. Find a new job with great pay & benefits (including 401k)~~ *interviewing/searching began in April 2007. started new job @ NWGB
010. Put gift money or non-expected money into savings. - continuing

Health/Beauty:
011. Drink only water (at least 6 glass per day) for at least two weeks.
012. Be at the high end of my healthy weight (140 lbs) by the end of this mission.
013. Eat no fast food for at least 2 weeks.
014. Participate in at least one awareness walk.
015. Run a mile in less than 10 minutes.
016. Exercise for at least 20 minutes per day for one month.
017. Brush teeth in a.m. & before bed every night for duration of the mission.
018. Whiten teeth.
019. Wash face in a.m. & before bed every night for duration of the mission.
020. Apply lotion in a.m. & before bed every night.
021. Sounds silly but quit over-clipping toenails, let them grow and have a pedicure.
022. Quit nail biting.
023. Have a professional show me how to apply makeup to compliment me.
~~024. Learn to walk in heels without breaking my neck or walking like a trucker.~~ I've done this just from the need to wear heels more often lately.
025. Get hair cut and styled.
026. Drink three glasses of milk per day for a month.

Hobbies:
027. Finish 2001-02 scrapbook.
028. Start and finish 2003 scrapbook.
029. Start and finish 2004 scrapbook.
030. Start and finish 2005 scrapbook.
031. Start and finish 2006 scrapbook.
032. Start and finish 2007 scrapbook.
033. Start and finish 2008 scrapbook.
034. Start 2009 scrapbook.
035. Make scrapbook pages to sell.
036. Make cards to sell.
037. Read at least one book per month.
038. Read at least 5 books that I never would have chosen for myself (not to be included in # )
039. Sew my own curtains
040. Sew my own pillow covers for sofa pillows
041. Blog daily.
042. Write one poem or short story- try to get my writing groove back.
043. Start a family tree. *gathering the information.
044. Learn to swing dance.
045. Make and keep up a garden.

Education:
~~046. Finish my Associates Degree.~~
047. Look into a Bachelors degree program.
048. Re-learn where all the states are.

Family/Relationships:
049. Get engaged.
050. Get married.
~~051. Have another child.~~
052. Become a stay-at-home mom.
053. Have family portraits done.
054. Have portraits done of all kids (my generation) together for parents.
055. Have homework time with Isaiah each evening during the school year.
056. Create and keep up with a family notebook.
057. Write 20 personal notes, either thank-you cards or letters to people for whom cards are important.
058. Pay attention to when I'm losing touch with someone, and make the effort to call or email when it's been a few weeks.
059. Keep up with all birthdays and send cards on time.
060. Be active as a family.
061. Eat dinner at the kitchen table as a family every night for one month. *began this at the start of mission- still going.
062. Have Isaiah spend an over night with a family member and go out on the town with Kenny.
063. Stop yelling.
064. Honeymoon
065. Surprise Kenny with a date- and a hotel room.
066. Establish a “chore chart”
067. Write one letter per week to a family member or friend in Pennsylvania.
068. Hug 15 people I normally don't hug.

Purchases:
069. Buy a home. *projected close date 10/18/07
070. Buy a bedroom suite.
071. Buy/obtain all new bathroom towels, including a set for guests.
~~072. Buy a new mattress (preferably a TempurPedic!)~~
~~073. Buy a laptop~~
074. Buy/obtain a sewing machine.
~~075. Buy a dishwasher. *comes with new home.~~
~~076. Buy dining room furniture.~~

Other:
077. Renovate new home. *work in progress!*
~~078. Rock the vote.~~
079. Attend my 10 year high school reunion in June 2009.
080. Throw an adult party (and I don’t mean XXX).
081. Pray everyday.
082. Read & ponder one Bible verse per day.
083. Make dinners ahead of time and freeze.
084. Go a day or more without bringing a conversation back to myself.
085. Find at least one thing a day that makes me happy and record it for a year
086. Do dishes daily.
087. Wash one load of laundry per day.
088. Strip beds once per week and wash sheets and blankets.
089. Turn off tv and computer for one week straight.
090. Print all photos on disk using free promotions
091. Keep clutter off of the kitchen table and desk.
092. Go through Isaiah’s toys and donate or sell any he no longer plays with.
093. Clean out car and keep it clean for one month or more. *cleaned it out on 4/17
094. Organize closests and drawers and keep them that way.
095. Make all gifts.
094. Recycle.
095. Make home more energy efficient.
096. See a musical at the Tivoli.
097. Adopt a child from the “Angel Tree”
098. Become more involved in my community.
099. Make our bed every morning for one month.
100. For every item on list not completed donate $2.
101. Create a new list and begin again!

Specs

2007-09-15T06:29:00.000-04:00

There will be inside photos next time we visit the house. Projected closing date is October 18. Wish us luck. We are going to need it.

We didn't really have the earnest money they required ($500) but I get paid Monday, so we wrote them a check. Jimmy (Kenny's brother) is helping us out a bit, but we will still need more $$ and a refridgerator. I'm super sick to my stomach. In the end I know it will work out somehow but right now it all seems impossible.

MLS#:1090328-RES-Res
Status:Active
Area:(19) Walker County
Bedrooms:3
ApxSqFt:1,276/TR
Bths Ful/Hlf: 2/0
TaxMap#: 1048020A
Description: 1 story, Site Built
Map#: OUT
Address: 201 LINCOLN ST
ApxYrBlt: 2005
City/Cnty: LAFAYETTE/Walker
Zip: 30728
Lot Size: 85 X 150
Acres: 0.290000(+/-)
Subdiv: NONE
Subsec: D
Elem Sch: Gilbert Elementary School

Middle Sch: LaFayette Middle

High Sch: LaFayette High

DeedBook: 1411
Page: 667
AnlTaxes: $1,300
Possessn: Day Of Closing
Assmnt: Legal Desc: PTLTS 9-11 BLK 1
Directions: 27 S. through city of LaFayette - LFT on Lincoln St. past Dollar General Store - home on L.

LivingRm
Kitchen
Bedrm:Master
Bedrm:Additnl
Bedrm:Additnl
Bath:Full
Bath:Full

Appliances: Dishwasher
Equipment: Ceiling Fan
Interior: Pantry, Windows - Insulated, Laundry Closet, Windows - Vinyl
Exterior: Siding, Vinyl
Basement: Slab
Cooling: Central, Electric
Description: 1 story, Site Built
Dining: Combined With Kitchen
ComFeat: None
ExtFeat: Patio/Deck
Fin. Avail: Conventional, FHA
Fireplace: None
#FP: 0
Heating: Electric, Central
BedBath: Tub/Shower Combo
Roof: Shingle
Water/Sewer: Public Water, On Sewer Now
Lot Desc: Level, Corner Lot
Garage: None, Off Street Parking

....

2007-09-14T19:55:00.000-04:00

We. just. bought. a. house.

::panics::

Offer.

2007-09-12T19:40:00.000-04:00

We wrote up the offer on the house, they will present it tomorrow and then we'll see what happens :)

I'm super excited!

Today was school picture day... We should be getting his pictures back in about 4 weeks.

And of course, you'll see them as soon as we get them.

Whhew.

2007-09-11T20:00:00.000-04:00

They found the $100. I mistyped an amount in and proof fixed it. Yay! I *would have* balanced out today, but two things came up. With those two things fixed I will have balanced out.

We looked at the last home, I hope we have to look at. We found "The One." I will take photos next time we see it... (if there's a next time before we own it).

We've been pre approved through our own mortgage company and through the express path financing (for foreclosures). I am hoping our mortgage company can give us a better deal.

We'll see though!

Oh, I picked Isaiah up from granny's yesterday... and he said, "Joshua called me fat."

"Who's Joshua?"

"A boy."

"Is Joshua in your class?"

"No, he's on my school bus."

"How old is he?"

"Six."

"Well, you tell Joshua I'll show him what fat is when I give him a fat lip!"

thyroid/fibromyalgia...overages/shortages

2007-09-09T08:55:00.000-04:00

for the past several days I have been having the most terrible joint/muscle pain all over. When looking it up most sites include thyroid disease and fibromyalgia as possible reasons. I am pretty sure it would be my thyroid, as I've not had medication in MONTHS! I'm going to call for a doctor's appt. tomorrow on my off day and hopefully we can figure things out.

I left work yesterday $100 over in my drawer. Hopefully they can find it tomorrow. All of your overages and shortages add up...they don't cancel each other out. So a $20 overage and a $20 shortage is $40 off. When you get to $500 they put you on probation. Considering I am still in my 90 days (from hire) I don't know if I'll be lucky enough to get probation...I'm already at $150, and if we don't find where this hundred belongs... then I'll be halfway to $500. It scares me.

House hunting

2007-09-08T16:30:00.000-04:00

We looked at three houses.

House#1. We were unsure about this house because it looked small. I think it will prove to be a great house though. A bit on the high end of what we were planning on paying. 3 downsides.
a. septic system. b. no back door and virtually no yard. c. resale will not be easy.

House#2. Large house. spacious rooms. Cost is less than house #1 by several hundred dollars. Needs a lot of work.

House#3. Very small bedrooms, needs paint and cosmetic work, otherwise everything is great. cost about $1100 less than the first house.

I really don't know what we will do. I want out of this rental home... NOW. But I don't want to move into some thing without thinking it through thoroughly first.

I'm really just torn over the whole thing.

Just some thinking

2007-09-03T13:39:00.001-04:00

Sunday, September 02, 2007

I sometimes wonder if we are past the point of engagement... I mean we've been together for seven years, lived together for six, have a four year old, and are about to purchase a home. Engagement is for young relationships. I often wonder if we should just go to the courthouse and get married; even though that's not the way I would have liked to do it. If we wait until we can afford a wedding (let alone an engagement ring!) we'll probably be in our late thirties and already have three kids, yanno?
We've just both always wanted more that just a courthouse wedding.. Not that there's anything wrong with one, but we've always wanted both families to come together and celebrate. Not to mention, I wanna wear a princess dress =/
Common-law is not legal in our state.
Kenny says "ya have to be engaged before you can be married."
I told him that I don't want the age gap between Isaiah and a sibling to be any larger, but I don't want to have another baby until we are married. I wish he could understand that.
Not to mention the moral issues I've been having with our situation lately. I know, you're all thinking...heck if you were having moral issues, you should have dealt with it a loong time ago. Believe me, I know. But when Kenny feels like he's being pushed into something, he won't do it.

So..here we are.

2007-09-03T09:49:00.000-04:00

I guess for a while I will cross-post. Though I told Davney yesterday that I hate crossposting. I don't want to lose the friends I made over at OpenDiary. But I really needed to begin again. There's been a lot weighing on my heart lately. I thought putting the past behind me would help, but I still can't help hanging on to the past.

Below you'll find a cast of characters... perhaps I should have just linked one instead of making it a whole blog entry - and a bit of background. Those of you from OD may notice that they are the same entries as I created at OD.

Happy reading!

Background.

2007-09-02T21:01:00.001-04:00

I started my OpenDiary in July of 2000, just after my mom passed away. (8 days before my 19th birthday) But OD deleted over 300 of my entries when they switched all of the servers over.

I was born premature (long story) in Philadelphia, PA.

I am the youngest and only girl of 3 children. (AND the only kid that isn't married, though I DID beat one brother to having children =P )

I had your normal lower-middle class childhood.

My mom got hit by a 24-ton crane head on when I was four (and lived in disabling pain for the next 15 years). My parents divorced then eventually got back together.

Through high school I was an avid member of my church. I attended twice Sundays, youth group on Wednesday and was in the choir. My best friend was the youth director's daughter. We got into tons of trouble together. Sarah and I were both accepted to Tennessee Temple University; we were planning on rooming together. Just before we were supposed to leave, something inside me told me not to go. That really broke Sarah's and my friendship up we didn't talk for over 3 years.

I graduated in 1999 in the top 10 percent of my class (though I think it was more like 20 percent, but the counselor told me 10, I won't argue with him) .

In early 2000 my dad had a series of strokes (caused by his diabetes) and was hospitalized. Now he is disabled because of them. Daddy lives with my brother Chris (middle child, 28) and his wife, Jen. Daddy is 64.

I worked as a manager at Mcdonalds before my mom passed away. Four days before she passed, I had a nervous breakdown at work and my doc pulled me out for a week. He put me on Ativan and Paxil. Then, mom passed away. That was the WORST day of my life.(she was only 40) --I'll post the story I wrote for english in a future entry for you to explain that day.-- We are all still unsure about the real cause of death, but it was classified as an accidental OD on Oxycontin. I quit Mcdonalds because they were going to fire me anyway, I was a mess. If I had gone to TTU, I would have missed the entire last year of my mom's life. But Sarah and her familly did come to mom's funeral and though she probably still doesn't know it, it meant alot to me.

Three weeks after she passed, I met Kenny in an AOL chatroom. And got a job as a barista at Bucks County Coffee (awesome job!) Eight months later he came to visit me in PA. Four months after that I moved to GA to be with him. My family thought it was good for me to be away for a while to help me move past the pain of losing my mom.

Seven months after moving here to GA, I found out that I was pregnant. I worked in the one-hour photo at K-Mart at the time. But K-Mart closed and I was out of a job. I got my driver's license when I was 8 months pregnant with Isaiah. Isaiah was born December 2, 2002. Weighing in at 9.0 lbs. and 21.5 inches long. 1.5 weeks before the due date.

In March 2007 I graduated from Northwestern Technical College with my Associates Degree in Accounting.

I currently work as a teller for a fast-growing community bank. I really like the job a lot and my co-workers are pretty neat too!

I want to move back to Pa. as soon as I can. But this always poses as a problem because I would hate to take Kenny from his family -they are quite close. (as I am quite close to my family, as well) And Isaiah is getting a fantastic education in this school system.

While that is still somewhat true, Kenny and I have been having a lot of relationship talks lately. In those include when we will perhaps start TTC again and moving. However, the moving only includes purchasing a home in the town we currently live in.

We just accepted an offer on our first home. Our projected closing date is October 18, 2007.

We moved into our first home at 201 Lincoln Street on October 20, 2007.

Samuel Elliot was born on Thursday, June 26, 2008 at 1:20 p.m. He weight 6 lbs 10 oz. and was 19 3/4 inches long. He spent 5 days in the NICU with fluid on his lungs and on day 8 was diagnosed with PKU.

Important People

2007-09-02T20:52:00.001-04:00

**Here you'll find who's who in my life, more info on me, and ways to contact me**

Me: Angel. I'm 27. I'm never happy with myself. I'm a perfectionist. I'm learning to find myself, to be myself and love myself. I was born and raised in small town just outside of Philly, Pa.

Kenny: The love of my life. We met online August 2000 and have lived together since August 2001. We have two sons.

Isaiah: Our brilliant ball of energy- otherwise known as our 5 year old son. He was born Tuesday, December 02, 2002 at 1:45 p.m. He weighed in at 9.0 lbs. and 21.5 inches long. His dx is basically PDD-NOS. And he has SPD. He spent the a year and a half in a special needs pre-k class; last year in regular pre-k and will be in regular kindergarten this year! He just shines. His smiles makes me remember why I'm here.

Samuel: My new born baby boy. Born Thursday, June 26, 2008 at 1:20 p.m. He weighed in at 6 lbs 10 oz. and 19.75 inches long. He spent the first 5 days in the NICU with fluid on his lungs and was diagnosed with PKU on day 8.

Daddy/George: My dad, he live in Pennsylvania with my brother and his wife.

Mommy/Donna(RIP): My mom, passed away 8 days before my 19th birthday-July 13, 2000.

Mema: My mom's mom and my only living grandparent, lives in Pennsylvania. She's the greatest.

Bud & Arlene: My oldest brother and his wife, live in Pennsylvania.

Donnie & Jack: Bud's 7 year old son and 4 year old son, my darling nephews.

Chris & Jen: My other brother and his wife-as well as one of my CLOSEST friends. They live with my dad.

Donna: Jen's mom and a staple to our family-I'm not sure if she understands what she means to us.

Jimmy: Kenny's older brother - funny as all get out, definitely makes things interesting.

Debbie: Kenny's younger sister - I'm not very close to Debbie, though I'd like to be. She's smart, funny and interesting.

Josh: Kenny's (step) brother

Casey: Kenny's brother

Becky: Kenny's sister - I'm not very close to Becky, either, but she's definitely fun to be around.

Stephen: Kenny's youngest brother

Jim/Pappy: Kenny's dad - Sarcastic fella, and hilarious to boot.

Pam/Gramma: Kenny, Debbie, Jimmy and Becky's momma -I'm getting closer to Pam, I think. It's awkward sometimes, because we don't talk often. But she is definitely helping me feel less lost without my own mom. I fear that at times I take missing my mom out on Kenny and Pam. I don't mean to, I hope they understand.

Marie: Jim's current wife & Stephen's momma

Sarah: My best friend - We rekindled our friendship in 2003 after not speaking for nearly 4 years. Sometimes I feel that we're kind of at different places in our lives, but we're still there for each other.

Uncle Marc: My mom's younger brother. My favorite. He loves us and wants to help and support us the best he can.

Aunt Kerri: Uncle Marc's ~~ex.~~ My favorite aunt ever. ~~Even though she and Uncle Marc aren't together, she's still a super huge influence in my life and definitely still part of the family.~~ They're together again!

starting over.

2007-08-29T07:57:00.000-04:00

I have an OpenDiary, which I've had for 7 years now. I began writing there just mere days after my mom passed away. I can't bear to delete it, but I am feeling the need to move on. So here I am, starting over at Blogger.

It's an odd feeling. I feel like I am discounting my past.

I'm at an odd place in life right now. I'm trying to build my relationship with God. Work on my relationship at home, be good at my new job, be a great mom, and getting healthier. I've always been told that I try to do too much at once, but I think that's just the way I am programmed.

There is more ...as there should be, but I have a lot to get done this morning before I go to work. perhaps I'll write a getting to know me entry later.